Double Standards of Dating: What Does it Mean to Love as a Gay Christian?

He was a gay Christian and she had loved him for it since the moment she first laid eyes on his angelic face. It had been a feeling she was unable to ignore and, soon enough, the two were the definition of young love. Until the questions of religion and sexuality began to simmer in the background, bringing forth feelings of guilt and resistance from all sides.

Walking in the same familiar park, beneath a now cloudy sky, his hand grasped hers as he broke the silence. “How can I love two identities that were never meant to coexist?", he asked. She squeezed his hand as if to provide enough courage for them both. “We have a right to love however we choose - religious identity or not”.

The double standards of dating as a gay Christian are all too real, still present even in the more progressive parts of the modern world. But why is it necessary to impose a strict binary on the way love is regarded and accepted by religious institutions and communities? And yet, we are expected to accept that religion and sexuality can never coincide. We are fed the notion that same-sex relationships cannot be sanctified by any higher power. That love between a man and a man, a woman and a woman, is frowned upon, laughed at, and ostracised by some.

The two of them were faith-filled believers and free to be their authentic selves. This meant embracing their intersectionality and coming to terms with their love being questioned, yet not disregarded. In  datingapps  of their own home, the two felt secure and protected, but stepping outside that comfort presented a range of anxieties.

Going to church as an openly gay couple felt like an unwelcome rift in an otherwise unified congregation, tensions rising with every unwelcoming comment and every tremor of judgement. Their physical presence in the same space was a challenge to the status quo and an opposition to the rigid religious law.

The idea that a person’s religious upbringing is always at odds with sexual orientation is unfathomable. Yet the ancient myth of this age-old polarisation is still accepted in the majority of religious organisations. In the eyes of some, love between a gay Christian is an oxymoron, a false truth that brings forth silent reprimands and private rebukes.

The use of Scripture and church teachings to justify homophobia and sexism not only shames this age-old couple, it also masks an individual’s responsibility to simply consider the holistic picture and accept love in all its forms and identities. Unfortunately, this type of thinking still persists and, as a consequence, the two are doomed to often feel rejected and isolated, gaining only sporadic moments of relief and clarity. Yet, their love for one another remains resolute.

Regardless of the judgement that ensued, their relationship was declared a symbol of perseverance and commitment, a tangible example of beauty and grace. Under the stars, far away from the restraints of polite society, their love ran deeper than religion and all its limitations. After all, we may be confined to and judged by the expectations of our peers, but true love, in all its forms, will continue to find a way.